Pathway Lost Again

     I'm back here again, so this means things been going on in my mind that been stressing me. I feel a type of way that I felt plenty of times, but this feeling is something serious. My way in life has been lost again. I walked into a dead end, so now it's time to go back. The only thing is, I can't go back. There is no "Back" for me to go. The only thing to do is to build a new path for myself, I just to know where it's gonna lead me to. 

     I was so ready to go to the military, but things were taking too long and stuff had to be re-done. I knew for a fact that the stuff that had to be re-done was not going to happen, but I was gonna hold that thought and maybe find a way around it, but things just didn't go right. Nothing ever goes right with me. So now the thought of me becoming a Marine is obliterated and the dust of that thought scattered. Now I'm back at that lost square I was at junior year. I don't know what I'm going to do after school, and I don't know what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. I don't have that long to decide. Time is of the essence but I at least of some type of idea of what to do next, but it's just an idea. For some people, this is good news, but the people who really knows me knows that this is strictly bad news. Whenever I think about this situation, it makes me sick to my stomach because it makes me think of living in the hood for the rest of my life when I don't want that at all. I don't understand why the things we really want in life makes us bleed sweat, but the things we avoid comes with ease. I don't want to be like my mom, or anybody else struggling to keep clothes on their families back or food in their families stomach. I don't ever want to come to that point. Going through the same problems your whole life doesn't make life worth wild, it makes life a living torture. It's about time I gather my thoughts and make no mistakes, and not hesitate. Make haste with every opportunity I get and make it through the ring of fire with no flames attached to me.