Lady In My Life

My happiness as come back to me. Every since we got back together, I've been so happy. Things would try to bring me down, then you would come and sweep them away. You kept me happy, and you still keep me happy. You don't let anything bring me down. You are my sanctuary. Everyone noticed how happy I've been since we got back together. When we were away from each other, it killed me to now that you wasn't my girl anymore, and I tried to cover it up. But you can't cover up love. That was just a test to see if we really loved each other and we passed with flying colors. You don't know how much I love you til the point you're all I think about all day everyday. You make me feel wanted, appreciated, so loved. Never again, that we get separated. You complete me. You're the reason why I be so eager to go to school in the morning. Idk what else to say, I'm speechless. From this point on, I don't think words could express how I feel about you. I thank God that you're still with me. We got three months down, and the rest of our lives to go baby. I Love You.

Consumption of Darkness

Well today I lost my lamp to my darkness. Everything seems so dark inside. No matter how bright I try to make it, darkness is consumes me. Everything feels different now. It's not the same. There's an emptiness in my heart that I felt before. Emptiness is suppose to be nothing, but in my heart, it's a living thing. Today, it came and whispered in my ear" I told you I'll be back".I feel like I have a cloud over my head that will never leave. By myself once again, alone in the dark surrounded by negative vibes. You're the only girl I "officially" loved and I still do. You caused me stress and at the same time, I caused you stress. I love you enough to let you go away from me and the burden of stress I gave you. If I was able to read your mind, figure out what I was doing wrong, I would've fixed it. But wishes is only for the blind people I guess. I thought we was going to last forever, but I guess I'm young-minded for thinking something like that. I would still like to know what I did wrong? Was I lacking something? Was there something I was not understanding? I guess some things is better off unanswered right? Now, I just think of it as we're both freed from relationship stress and relationships isn't my criteria. Some things is just not meant to be for me. We're still gonna be cool, but I'm not gonna look at you the same. If we stay friends, knowing that I have a friend that I once loved is gonna redundantly beat me in my head. Hmmmmmm........ Well, the only think we must do is move forward.

My Inner Thoughts

It seems as if my conscience is getting stronger by the days. The stronger it gets, the closer I get into my mind, the more understanding I have for things. I don't understand how I'm still sane with a conscience like mine. I've been suicidal lately, but seem to come pass those feelings. Things just haven't been seeming right in my life lately. I tend to have no type of guidance in my life. From lack of guidance, I question myself and the world more often. Who am I? What is my purpose on this Earth? Why am I always not helped when I need it?

I didn't ask to be born, I didn't ask for the predicament I'm in right now. I was better off swimming in my dad's ball sack than coming out to this thing we call "Life". I need to find myself. But where do I go to find myself? I've come to find out that life is a game.Everything is played. I need to get away as soon as possible. Why the fuck do I have feelings and emotions? These two things are what's bringing me down, destroying my insides. I wish I could get rid of them. I guess there's a reason why I still have them. I don't know what that reason could be, but I need to be answered. My little sis is right about me. I use to always be nice and never angry most the damn time, but I told her"It's the things that I see happening to everyone that's changing me because I don't want it happening to me." Well if that's the case, I'm doing a shitty as job. I'd be better off if I didn't give a fuck about anything, which I need to do more often. What's the fucking point of this shit I'm in? Ain't shit happening so why am I still in it? I'm better off out than in. I knew nothing was going to change. I hate my fucking self. Am I lacking something? Am I doing something wrong? Time seriously needs to fly because I wouldn't think or feel like this if I was in the Marines. August is the day when these my so called sinister thoughts go away.